P.U.

Ughh I SMELL!

The a/c was out at my gym (or running at a high temperature) when I first got there, so I was sweating my ass off… which is a good thing. I didn’t burn the 1,000 like I was supposed to. I forgot to bring a bottle of water and was just dying of thirst, plus the last week that I spent at the gym I’ve gone really easy on myself and went a bit harder today- so I guess I’ll have to take a minute to work up to it.

Burned 500.

Better than nothing…better than 100, 200, 300 or 400 but worse than 600, 700… well you get the picture! (:

Tomorrow I will do better. Tomorrow I will do at least 600, and I’ll just keep working up to 1,000 and then I will maintain 1,000. The most I’ve ever burned in one work out was 1,200 and that was a long time ago. Back in 2006 when I was crazy obsessed with working out and burning off every calorie I ate plus some. I think on the day that I burned 1,200 I actually only ate 300 (mostly neg. cal), came back to my room, showered and blacked out. I don’t mean I fell asleep, or crashed on the couch and/or bed, I mean I B-L-A-C-K-E-D O-U-T. That was pretty common for me back then though…. not safe, but what I’m wishing for again.

Tomorrow is another day.

You are never alone, but you are the leader of your own battles.

-Kat

New exercise plan

Starting a new exercise plan tomorrow to ensure that I meet my gw #1. The plan is burn 1,000 calories five days a week (at least). On my current gym routine – that I just started like a week ago- which includes a rotation between the elliptical, treadmill and bike, I’ll be there like two hours! Ahhhh but it’ll be ok I can do it, I’ve done it before.

If you come across this post, plz share your gym routine and give me your tips! (:

You are never alone, but you are the leader of your own battles.

-kat

Hello (:

Hi, my name is Katherine and I have an eating disorder.

Ok my real name isn’t actually Katherine, but for the sake of keeping my dirty little secret this is the name I’ll be using. Through this blog I hope to share my experience with others who share my disorder and to find comfort in knowing no one is alone.

One of the most important things to share in our community is stats, so I’ll start off with those, however embarassing they are:

Height: 5’5″
HW: 190 (June 09)
LW: 115 (Aug. 06)
CW: 187 (July 09)
GW1: 150 by August 09
GW2: 130 by Christmas 09
UGW: ? definitely back to 115 then lower and fitter

I was around 170-180 lbs in November 2005 when I started my journey with Ana; I got down to 115 by August 06, just nine months later. It was amazing and I was soaring, but I crashed and burned hard. Now I’m back up to my high weight +10 and am ready to get back to where I was.

By writing about it publicly I hope to be inspired to keep going on days when I feel like failing.

I hope you’ll share with me all that you feel comfortable sharing and that we can become supporters of each other.

DISCLAIMER: I can’t help anyone who doesn’t already have an eating disorder and I can’t help anyone recover; it’s my belief that eating disorders are rooted deep inside a person; something that is inherently wrong with him or her that can only be fixed when he or she finds the inner strength to do it.

You are never alone, but you are the leader of your own battles.

-kat

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